Blessings.

"What if your blessings come through raindrops?"

Have you heard the song "Blessings?"

If not, here you go....

I've loved this song for a while now....

But now it has a totally new meaning. 

God's love is awesome. 

I am learning how distorted my view of His love has been. 

I want to think that love makes people happy... all the time. 

Working here gives you a firsthand view of a lot of hard things.

When I see women hurting... its hard. 

Really hard.

I want to take the pain away.... 

But I'm learning"Loving" people God's way doesn't always mean making them happy. 

Truth is, sometimes things stink. 

Sometimes life is tough. 

Sometimes "a thousand sleepless nights...." is what it takes! 

God's love is crazy.... 

He loves us enough to let us hurt....

Wow. Let that sink in. 

He has a plan bigger than this moment. 

During the weeks here there have been a lot of overwhelming/hard/emotional moments. 

Moments that I couldn't handle on my own.... 

I hated these moments. 

They hurt. 

Then I started taking them to the Lord. 

Giving them to Him. 

Thanking Him for them. 

He did something awesome.... 

He took them. 

He made them into something beautiful!

When I cry, He comforts me as only He can. 

When I want a hug, He holds me. 

When I am lonely, He becomes everything. 

The moments are still hard... but they have taken me to my Savior. 

Brought me to His feet. 

They have become precious to me. 

Sometimes, God takes us through pain and hardship to bring us close to Himself. 

The blessing of knowing Christ has taken tears... I know there will be many tears to come, but I also know that this is a part of the awesome plan God has for my life. 

I know that He loves me enough to want this intimacy with Him!

Thank you, Jesus!

Side note:

I have been here a month!!

And.......

I got to see my SISTER and the BUDIAS today!!!!!!

It was so wonderful....

=D

Lessons:

There is SO much that I have learned since coming here to Indiana... silly stuff and stuff that will rock my world forever more!

A few of those lessons....

- Jesus satisfies.
Every desire.
Every ache.
Everything.

- I can thank God for my weakness....
This lesson is a hard one.
These last few weeks have shown me a TON of my weaknesses.

When I'm hurting... I don't want to thank God for it.

But when I am hurting and weak is when His strength can be made known.

- I love working out.

We have a free gym pass for a gym that is literally less than fifty feet away from where I live.
It is AMAZING!
I love it....

I have my whole routine worked out.... I pass the time with texting my family random pictures of the people working-out near me.
"Stealth pictures."
You should try.... it's rather fun!

- Needing God = an awesome place to be.

It has been AMAZING/wonderful/awesome to have times... like lots of times... when you NEED Jesus.
You CRAVE His Word.
You talk to Him... or die!

I have never in my life needed Christ like I have in the last couple weeks.

I have never had such a beautiful intimacy with Him!
He has brought me to Himself and held me through joy and pain.
He is my Beloved!

- When you are not living at home you actually have PAIRS of socks!
I don't even know how to handle this crazy phenomena!
Its weird.
It makes me miss home every time I put on socks.

- Pleasing God is what counts.
I can't make everyone happy.
If I try... it is WAY too stressful!

- I am a health nut.
Its ridiculous that I never knew this.

I've spent my whole life eating an amazingly healthy diet... and now that my mom isn't cooking for me daily.... I realize how awesome that is/was!

I have absurd ideas on what "health" is... and I LOVE my ice-cream and chocolate.... but I am shocking myself with how much I care about eating my greens, getting enough protein, etc.

- Coffee and tea are like spaghetti to me.
Comforts of home.
I love them!
I need them!

- Mornings are AWESOME!
My shift starts at 5:45am, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
I've been getting up at 4:30am.

Crazy?
I know.

But I have enjoyed these early mornings SO much!
I get to be awake and have my time with Jesus while everyone else is sleeping!
Its great!

- My family is too good to be true.
But they are true!
I am overwhelmed with how blessed I have been and still am.

I'm already WAY too excited about visiting home!!!!!!!
I love them so much!

- Gangsta is in....
At least at this place!

"Halla?"
"True dat!"
"Sho did..."

I think I'm slowly catching on....

- My hair is curly in the humidity.
Crazy.... but curly!

-  Seeing other's pain is really hard.... but God gives grace.
I've had to see a lot of pain lately.
Pain that tears your heart up. 
I can't handle it... but God gives grace, amazing grace to handle situations that I never could see on my own. 


- Time. Something I have never had much of and now am overwhelmed with.... Something that looms ahead me.... something I want to fill.... something that I have to give to God...


Time is God's. 


- The Word of God is so powerful!
It is amazing to see time after time how God provides what I need through the Bible.

- Jesus is mine.
I am His. 

This life... its about Him.

Settling In

I'm moved in.
I'm settled.
I'm watching a movie with my roomies.
I drank a cup of tea.
I Skyped with my fam.

I'm good.
Really good!!!!

God is great.
REALLY great!

I am so blessed with a wonderful place to stay... wonderful "other newbies" to be with (Yes, we did just go stealth mode to find ice-cream)... and an awesome God who has been holding me through everything!

It's been a crazy two weeks.

Lots of adjusting.
Lots of tears.
Lots of learning.

There have been many hard times.
Times that have made my heart break into a thousand pieces and made me fall on my face before my Savior.
These times are precious.

Vision of Hope is an amazing place.

God is working SO hugely here!

I am so blessed....
It is such an honor to have a front row seat of what God is doing!

I start "work" on Monday.
Please be praying!

I have never felt more inadequate. 
I cannot do this.... any of it. 


I have nothing.... but Christ is everything.

I need Him.... so bad!

Please keep praying?
It means the world to me....

"I can do ALL things through HIM who strengthens me..."

To Know Him...

Well. I'm alive! 

Only through God's amazing grace!!!!

God has been so good. 

It hasn't been easy. 

But God has been so good! 

"Training" is over.... we are shadowing this week.
Monday will be my first shift alone. 

Please PLEASE pray for me! 

To be honest... I'm freaking out!

But that's me. 

God is SO much bigger than I am. 

God has taken me out of more comfort zones than I knew existed...

It has been painful and emotional. 

But it has been good. 

My poor mom has put up with more calls home than should be allowed. 

I am so blessed by my support system back home... SO very blessed.

From my little siblings sweet "I love you" emails, to the long talks with mom, my sisters sweet comfort, my dads continuous love and wisdom, friends who have written.... I am SO blessed. 

Philippians 3:8

 "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord..."

Knowing Christ is beautiful.
Coming to know Christ is worth it.....

This is a precious time to come to know him in a totally new and intimate way.
This is new and scary... but it is giving me more opportunities to draw closer to the Lord than ever before.
This is a time that makes me truly starve for Christ. Starve for His word. Starve for His wisdom.  Starve for Him.
This is a time that is bringing me to the point of leaning on him for everything. 
This is taking me beyond myself.


This is hard... but this is worth it!

Whew.....

Wow. Day six in Indiana.

Seems like forever since I left.

We've had three days of training.... whew!
SO much info is packed in my already overwhelmed/overtired brain. 

God has been so faithful and good to me. 

My first two days here.... I almost died. 

Not literally... but it felt an awful lot like it. 

I have never felt so overwhelmed in my life. 

As I flew over, as I stayed my first night, as I realised I would be here for a year. 

Talk about freaking out!

Talk about needing to be dependent on Christ!

Talk about feeling sick. 

Did you know homesickness is an actual sickness?

Neither did I... but I am pretty sure it is.

I felt sick before I left, I felt sick when I got here, I still feel sick from time to time. 

Not like actual sick...  but my stomach was knotted up a million times and food seemed nauseating.

Did you know your heart can actually ache?

It can.

Mine did. 

Did you know God is awesome?!?

HE IS!!!!! 

God has been so so so so good. 

He has given me peace and excitement. 

He has held me in His arms and given me strength in my weakness. 

I am so excited about this upcoming year. 

I am excited to look to the Savior more than ever before.
We have been learning so much through training.... yet I am constantly realizing that ONLY through Christ can I possibly do this job. 

Throughout each moment I will need to be looking to Jesus for wisdom, grace, love, words. 

I am excited to be a part of the awesome team at Vision of Hope!

All of the "newbies!"

I know we will have so much fun together.... while growing together in the Lord.

I am SO excited to work with the women here.... women that are hurting and need Christ's love.

Women that already are showing me how much I have to learn. 

Thank you, Lord!!!

Now for a few pictures!!!!

"Home"

Our "back-yard!"

We went slack-lining.... it was super fun and MUCH harder than it looks!

HOPE!
(Don't tell me you don't see it!)

"In Christ alone my HOPE is found...."