I haven't been a lot of places in a long time.
Goodness, that was a long, big year.
A lot of stuff changed..... life changed..... I changed.
I truly will never be the same.... praise the LORD!
Something I learned while interning at Vision of Hope was the beauty of hardships. I saw pain. Real pain.... for pretty much the first time in my life. It changes you.
I now have confidence that our trials have an incredible way of bringing us closer to the Lord.
Crying out to the Lord.... it is precious.
I've had some harder times lately.
God is faithful, He has used every single struggle to draw me closer to Himself and refine my heart.
You know that song, "Blessings?"
I thought it was a good song.... even great..... that is until I had sleepless night. Until I had struggles... then the song became a prayer. It became my song. It became so dear.
God has allowed this unique time in my life.... and as much as I didn't enjoy the process. I can honestly say I am thankful.
But....I hate awkward.
*Side-note: Have you ever seen National Treasure?
The second one?
Well.... there's this moment where Riley says, "Awkward...."
Ya. I love that!
I've had a lot of awkward lately.......
You know, like.... "Hey! When's the wedding?!?!?!?!"
"Uh..... I actually am not getting married anymore."
"Oh.....um, ya.... *cough...* can I add some vanilla to that latte........."
So.... to clear up the jumble.....
I am no longer engaged.
Why, isn't really important...
What is important is the Savior that I serve.
No, this has not been easy but God has remained faithful and is carrying me in ways I couldn't have understood a year ago.
Eight months ago, as I began thinking of coming home, I prayed very specifically that God would not allow me to turn to "lazy Christianity." I didn't want to stop being on a honeymoon just because life would be returning to normal.
God, very specifically answered that prayer.
He has given me more purpose now than ever before. He has drawn me closer to Himself. He has taught me huge and life changing lessons.
He has given me joy rather than just happiness...
I have a redeemer. A beloved Savior that holds my life in His hands.
HE IS my purpose in life. I have the opportunity to cling and cry out to Him.
So, while this season can be... awkward and different.... I am thankful for it.
Thankful for a Savior Who loves me too much to allow me to have what I think is best.
Thankful for His love and grace that is overwhelming my heart.
Thankful for a wonderful family to love.
Thankful that HE is my husband! Oh my word.... do we really know what that means?
I'm thankful that I don't believe honeymoons need to end.
I'm home. Life is slowly becoming "normal."
My time with my Savior..... it is only just beginning!