Thank You, Lord!

Wow. It is Thanksgiving... again!

In the three years I have blogged, my life has been changed in crazy ways.

Back in 2011, I really did feel like the most blessed girl.... ever.
(You can read that post here.).
Wow... I was so young, so innocent, so happy.
I knew, even then, my life was too easy.
Too good.
I was with my family, at home..... I had my family, my job, my Savior.... life was good.
God was so good.

Thanksgiving of 2012 was totally different.... but so beautiful.
(Andddddd.... that post is here....).
I was alone and learning life changing lessons on depending on my Savior.
It was a hard season, I was DYING to be home, yet LOVING the ministry God had me in.
I had an upcoming visit home, an awesome job, and a beloved Savior.
God was so good.... but I knew Him in totally new ways.

Now, 2013.
Whew. This year has been..... a lot of things.
This month!!!!!!!!!
God has been a lot of things!
He has been FAITHFUL, GRACIOUS, MERCIFUL....
Pretty much, His love is overwhelming.
I don't think I have ever had more to be thankful for, yet, something God is showing me is contentment and joy that is not based on circumstances..
This year is similar to way back in 2011, I am home, surrounded by love and food, the whole family is together..... but I am totally different.
I think I have had times of being thankful, without being content and time of happiness without joy.
Through the last two years God has shown me something that FAR surpasses all the earthly blessings that I have.... Himself.
I am realizing why I was created in the first place.
I spent a lot of my life thinking it was about me. It's not.
My life has a PURPOSE! I love that word....
I have a JOB!
Boom!
I'm listening to Christmas music (PLEASE don't judge me!).... there are a lot of, "You're all I need" or "Baby, all I want for Christmas is you..." and "....oooohhhhhoooooohhhhhooooohhhhh."
Christ is all we need, people.
I promise.
Our world is advertising that romance, love, and vainity is going to bring fulfillment and happiness..... It doesn't. It can try..... but in the long run... we were created for One.
That is where we can find JOY and PEACE and all the other stuff!

This year, more than ever, I am thankful.
I am with my wonderful family, in my home.....I have my Savior....He is my HUSBAND, my Beloved, my LIFE!
God is SO good.

Happy Thanksgiving!

P.S. Why would anyone go shopping at midnight tonight? Well, because we are young. Because I never have gone at midnight. Because I have brother's that are as crazy as me. Because we can. :)

New Beginnings

Wow.... I haven't been on here in so long.....

I haven't been a lot of places in a long time.

Goodness, that was a long, big year.
A lot of stuff changed..... life changed..... I changed.

I truly will never be the same.... praise the LORD!

God.is.so.good.

Something I learned while interning at Vision of Hope was the beauty of hardships. I saw pain. Real pain.... for pretty much the first time in my life. It changes you.

I now have confidence that our trials have an incredible way of bringing us closer to the Lord.
Crying out to the Lord.... it is precious.

I've had some harder times lately.
God is faithful, He has used every single struggle to draw me closer to Himself and refine my heart.
You know that song, "Blessings?"
I thought it was a good song.... even great..... that is until I had sleepless night. Until I had struggles... then the song became a prayer. It became my song. It became so dear.

God has allowed this unique time in my life.... and as much as I didn't enjoy the process. I can honestly say I am thankful.

But....I  hate awkward.

*Side-note: Have you ever seen National Treasure?
The second one?
Well.... there's this moment where Riley says, "Awkward...."
Ya. I love that!
Anyhow....*

I've had a lot of awkward lately.......

You know, like.... "Hey! When's the wedding?!?!?!?!"
"Uh..... I actually am not getting married anymore."
"Oh.....um, ya.... *cough...* can I add some vanilla to that latte........."

So.... to clear up the jumble.....
I am no longer engaged.

Why, isn't really important...
What is important is the Savior that I serve.

God.is.so.good.
No, this has not been easy but God has remained faithful and is carrying me in ways I couldn't have understood a year ago.

Eight months ago, as I began thinking of coming home, I prayed very specifically that God would not allow me to turn to "lazy Christianity." I didn't want to stop being on a honeymoon just because life would be returning to normal.
God, very specifically answered that prayer.
He has given me more purpose now than ever before. He has drawn me closer to Himself. He has taught me huge and life changing lessons.
He has given me joy rather than just happiness...
I have a redeemer. A beloved Savior that holds my life in His hands.
HE IS my purpose in life. I have the opportunity to cling and cry out to Him.

So, while this season can be... awkward and different.... I am thankful for it.
Thankful for a Savior Who loves me too much to allow me to have what I think is best.
Thankful for His love and grace that is overwhelming my heart.
Thankful for a wonderful family to love.
Thankful that HE is my husband! Oh my word.... do we really know what that means?
I'm thankful that I don't believe honeymoons need to end.
I'm home. Life is slowly becoming "normal."
My time with my Savior..... it is only just beginning!

Valentines Day!!!!!

I'm a hopeless romantic.... always have been.

When I was ten I had all the singles in the church matched up.... and some of them actually happened!
I've given this occupation up... for the most part!

Valentines day... pretty much a day to celebrate love!

I love weddings and people falling in love! 

I love that I have one of my dearest friends getting married soon!!!!!

I love songs like this....

Ooohh... 

And this...

Most of all... I love the LOVE that Christ has shown. 

I am in love and loved by the very best... my Savior.

How can we possibly know love, without knowing the One who created it?

The last few months have been an adventure and love story.

Love story in that God has pursued me... His bride!

"... the surpassing worth of knowing Christ."

Coming to love Him more than ever before... this is surpassing worth.

I have given away my heart, never to take back.

My favorite LOVE songs...

"My Jesus I love Thee, I know Thou art mine."

"Oh, love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!"

"Jesus loves me this I know, 
For the Bible tells me so... "

True love....

"O sacred Head, now wounded,

with grief and shame weighed down,
now scornfully surrounded
with thorns, thine only crown:
How pale thou art with anguish,
with sore abuse and scorn!
How does that visage languish
which once was bright as morn!


What language shall I borrow
to thank thee, dearest friend,
for this thy dying sorrow,
thy pity without end?
O make me thine forever;
and should I fainting be,
Lord, let me never, never
outlive my love for thee."

Happy Valentines Day!

Phase Two.

Oh my word.
I've been here six months.
There are only six months left!
I'm going home soon!
I am an, "OLD" intern!
I trained a "NEW" intern to take over my shift!
I get to start working the evening shift tonight!!!!!

I had my last day to wake up at four AM. Goodness... that starts to wear on you.
It's crazy the difference between my shifts now compared to when I first came.

At the beginning I was timid... scared... questioning EVERYTHING I did.
Now, I love leading and helping the girls. God has given me a desire to help rather than it just being my job.

I can be totally be honest NOW when I say I LOVE the job that God has given me to do here.
I LOVE the way God speaks to me through my shifts to change my life... He places every situation so perfectly to grow me in what He knows I need.

Most of all......... I LOVE THESE GIRLS!

Not a little... not even a semi normal amount....TONS!

I love them with a love the God gave the minute I became an intern... but that has grown to an overwhelming extent!

Each girl is so unique, so precious in the sight of God.

My heart breaks when I see them struggle, yet, I see God so clearly ministering to each of them.
Yesterday God gave me two precious moments that made me stand in absolute wonder of what a mighty God we are serving!
Little things... but things that shake my entire perspective of life!

It is a life changing experience to have the tiniest part and an up-close view of a beautiful transforming work that is happening in these lives.

Sometimes I think of being here as a sanctification boot-camp.
You cannot help but be changed.... You cannot help but see idols in your own heart!

As much as I miss my homeland and family... I truly am grateful that God still has six more months for me here!
This is something that I didn't think I would ever be able to say.

The verses that God gave me when I first came are still a daily source of strength.
"Indeed, I count all things as loss for the SURPASSING worth of knowing Christ."
I want to know Him so much more.

I am so thankful that my honeymoon with my Savior is only just beginning and that He has plans and purpose for way beyond these next six months.

It's Christmas!

What a different Christmas season this has been!

I go home TOMORROW!

It doesn't feel like any other Christmas.... but it has been a good season!

When I think of the Christmas season I think of....

Family.
Joy.
Music.
Laughter.
Food.
Games.
Baking.
Friends.
Togetherness.
Warmth.
Snow.
Ease.
The Christmas story.

This season has been full of tears, homesickness, and seeing a lot of pain.
It showed me a lot of stuff about God that I had never known.

This season I looked at Christmas in a totally different light.

I didn't go Christmas shopping... bake tons of cookies... sing at the top of my lungs.... have loads of people over... and cuddle with my little siblings.

But...

I have seen God's redeeming work in womens' lives.

I have come to a point that I couldn't go on and saw Him carry me.
I have loved... like I have never loved before...

I love my family and have longed for them.
I love the residents here... oh, how I love them.
I love the wonderful Staff and Interns that God has placed here.
I love Heaven... I LONG for Heaven!
I love God's redemptive work.
I love His PLAN! The one that I can't understand... but don't have to.
I love God in a new way

I love Christmas... always have.
I love all of the things that I didn't have this year... but it was really special to think about what Christmas REALLY is about.

The fact that I have a relationship with my Savior is all because of the baby that was sent to earth.
A baby with a tragic yet beautiful purpose...

The fact that GOD REDEEMS because Jesus paid for our sins!
The fact that I can rest in Him and bask in His love because His Son tore away the veil that separated us!

Normally I am surrounded by people who I love and who love me.... This season I was carried by THE One who loves me.

I'm thankful for the last month. I'm thankful for a Christmas season that didn't "feel" like Christmas yet showed me what it is all about!
I am so excited to be going home tomorrow... I can't even explain HOW excited because it still doesn't feel real... but God knew how important this time was.

"Oh holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of our dear Saviour's birth."

Thanks....

Wow... lots has happened since last Thanksgiving.
Lots.

My life is very different.

God has blessed me.

I still have a lot to be thankful.
A lot.
More than ever before...

Being 2,000 miles away from home has a way of showing you what you have been blessed with.

This year's list is a bit different... but better.

I am thankful for this internship.
What a blessing to have the opportunity to be in a home like this. To be under the teaching of very wise and godly women.

I am thankful for God's unending, constant, and beautiful grace towards me.
It amazes me over and over again.

I am thankful for HIS strength,
I am more weak and pathetic than I ever imagined possible
Each shift I go on.... I see God at work.
Each time I go on shift.... I know God held me and strengthened me through the entire time.

I am thankful for trials.
No, I don't handle them as I should, but throughout every hard time God has brought me so much closer to Himself... I am thankful for that!

I am thankful for my family.... my one of a kind, wonderful, too good to be true family.
My heart aches... I miss them.
I've always known I was blessed with something very special... but being far away has made me have an even greater appreciation for what I have.

I am SO thankful for my mom.
She is a blessing from God.
She has been my counselor, confidant, friend....
She has listened to a crazy amount of tears... she hears my heart when I don't feel like moving on.
She has been a vessel that God uses to point me to truth and Himself. She has been a prayer warrior and truly my best friend.
I am so blessed....

I am thankful for every single girl in this program.
I love them all so much.... I love the amazing redeeming work He is doing in their life.
I love the love that God gives.... it is overwhelming.

I am thankful for this time.....
It is hard. ...
I am tired....
I can't do anything....

BUT....

GOD is holding me
My SAVIOR is giving me life... abundant life!
I don't have to do anything... I am only a vessel for Jesus.

I am on a honeymoon with my Beloved Savior!
He is drawing me close to Himself, changing me, stretching me....

I miss what I had last year an awful lot....
But I wouldn't trade what God is doing now for the world.

THANK YOU, Lord!

Johnny-Boy!

Happy Birthday, JOHNNY!

It is so insane and ridiculous that my biggest brother is now 18!

Goodness.... I miss this guy! 

He rocks my socks! 

Johnny is so dear to me! 

We have a million memories that I will never ever forget!

I miss being a kid... I miss being crazy.... I miss this guy!

I am so thankful for the wonderful brother and friend that Johnny is to me!

It is crazy to see your "little" brother grow up.... it's also awesome. 

It's awesome to see him growing as a man of God!

 Johnny is more of a blessing that he could ever really know!

I miss him so much....

I love him SO much!